These key questions open the pathway for your child’s school success
The new school year is underway. Students, teachers and parents have settled back into the regular routine (for the most part). It’s time to check in. Do you know how your child is doing? Do you know how you can best help your child find school success? Ask these 2 simple, key questions to get the answers and school success results you need:
When and how will I be told how my student is doing?
How can I best support my student at home?
When and how will I be told how my student is doing?
No matter what grade your child is in, the first thing you should know is when and how the school plans to inform you about your child’s progress. If the school doesn’t provide you with this information at the beginning, now is the time to contact your school’s point person. This liaison could be the division administrative assistant, the actual classroom teacher, an academic advisor, or another designated member of the school staff. Find out who is the best contact for your child. If the first parent-teacher conference is after October, that might be a little late to catch any concerns and address them with the proper resources. If you are seeing any signs of struggle with your student right now, consider contacting the school proactively with your specific concerns.
How can I best support my student at home?
The middle school years can be very tricky for parents. As students move through sixth, seventh and eighth grade, they are experiencing many changes developmentally. Their reaction to these changes can be wide-ranging. At the same time, academic expectations increase in depth and complexity. Students are expected to become more independent with all aspects of their schoolwork as these grades progress. How can you contribute to your child’s school success?
Let go…
If a parent has been closely involved with his or her student’s schoolwork in the elementary years, it can be difficult to take that “scaffolding” away, but it is crucial for the student’s successful development. Knowing how to do that properly benefits everyone involved. The best way to approach this question may depend on the school culture. If the school is “parent-inclusive,” it will have guidelines for what parents can help with and what students should handle themselves. Make sure to keep those guidelines handy for continuing reference at home. If the school is not in the habit of communicating with parents directly and regularly, it is important to ask the school to be specific about what is preferred.
Whatever the individual school’s approach, it is important to honor those guidelines. For example, if a school requests that parents not help with homework, or that parents confirm a student’s excuse for missing an assignment, then parents should align as much as possible with these policies. However, don’t go overboard and assume the school wants a lengthy parent explanation every time a student does poorly, misses an assignment, or doesn’t understand something.
Middle school is the time for students to become their own advocates and learn how to speak up for themselves, both at school and at home. Try to find the right balance for your child and your school (and you, especially if you are anxious) in terms of supporting your student. The ultimate goal is that your child feels confident that he or she can do this, but has people at school and at home to help get there, as needed.
…And find a different handhold
Parent support doesn’t mean doing the homework or solving problems for your child. It means giving your child the right tools to do the work himself or herself. If you understand how to accomplish the task at hand, ask your child leading questions so he or she can discover the answer. If your child doesn’t want your help, but you see signs of struggle, you can:
- suggest ways your child can seek help (from specific teachers, peers, etc.)
- contact your child’s advisor or homeroom teacher with your concerns
All along the way, be a good listener and provide constructive suggestions that can be realistically carried out as your child navigates each year of school and beyond. You will probably have many more questions as you go, but being proactive and getting the answers to these key questions we’ve explored will help you address the here-and-now, plan for the future, and set your child on the path to school success.
